Babies may be cute and cuddly, but (as any sleep-deprived parent knows) they can also be smelly, vicious, mini fighting machines. That’s why everyone should watch this instructional and (very tongue in cheek) video “How to fight a baby.”
Comedian Gavin McInnes shot the instructional video with his own baby, showcasing a few signature baby-fighting moves including the sleeper hold, the power-slam, tickling and of course what he calls a baby’s Achilles’ heel: wind.
You may have thought a grown man would come out the victor in the man versus baby grudge match, but McInnes wasn’t so lucky. In the end, his pint-sized competitor won with every parent’s worst nightmare: a scratch to the eyeball.
Reddit users shared their own baby-fighting battle scars Monday night and even included a list of baby battle tactics that every parent should be on the lookout for including these from Reddit user MetaConcept:
• Baby’s finger, hooked with sharp fingernail, up your nose. This has got to be the worst.
• Baby’s fist grab of your bottom lip. Fingernails on the inside.
• Baby’s fist grab of your beard.
• Baby’s only tooth on/in your nose (slobber included).
• Biohazard from their nethers on your thumb. You don’t notice, because it’s body
• Baby running straight at you from ground level, forehead into your groin.
• Baby’s ear-piercing squeal right next to your ear.
• Baby grows up and leaves home.
But not everyone is finding McInnes’ baby antics so funny. The Daily Mail notes that several YouTube commenters think his roughhousing comes a little too close to child abuse.