She’s a Homewrecker has been flying under the let’s-publicly-shame-people radar and has yet to gain the popularity of sites like Don’t Date Him Girl or any of those fun sub-reddits devoted to child pornography. But just because you don’t frequent the site, doesn’t mean it’s not still out there, full of the worst of humanity.
She’s a Homewrecker works about the way you’d think; women submit photos of the “bitches” who their boyfriends/husbands/regular slampieces cheated on them with. Even better, every post contains the full name of the alleged mistress, which are all tweeted out as posts with their name and location. When there’s not enough information, some of the commenters get helpful and supply further detail about the women they hate. This is legal because “all posts and comments on Shesahomewrecker.com represent the opinions of the original poster and are not endorsed, approved or representations of the opinions of Shesahomewrecker.com or its owners,” the site’s disclaimer reads. So the defamation lawsuit you receive, should you head to the site to leave your own rant, is yours to handle.
The language on each individual post is pretty much what you’d expect from a website of this caliber. There are a lot of references to how these women are “stealing” someone else’s man, to “skanky” women, to “crazy whores and “homewrecking sluts.” What makes this whole thing even worse is the popularity of the She’s a Homewrecker Facebook page, which has almost 250,000 likes, through which people – using their own names – make offensive comments and share details about their lives and the lives of those around them. The worst offender in this regard is someone who goes by the name of Ash Destruction, a probably fake name used by a woman who considers it her job to further shame these mistresses by posting their addresses and phone numbers so they can be further harassed.
The site appears to have been founded by a woman named Ariella Alexander who has her own personal blog called I’m In Love With A Serial Cheater. On that blog, Alexander chronicles an ongoing complicated saga involving her husband John and the woman he cheated with, Nicki, with whom she has engaged in some of her own internet warfare that’s intense enough to make her story a good candidate for a Lifetime Movie.
The moral boundaries that those who post on the site seem to hold is particularly interesting; the Facebook page for She’s a Homewrecker inexplicably features a couple cover photos devoted to kids with cancer, and the comments on those are all universally from people saddened over these dead children. Move on to the next photo and there are more angry comments from women about that whore that slept with their husband.
Most of the women who have posted on this site are clearly super fucked up from getting cheated on. Many have shared details about being cheated on while pregnant, how their best friend slept with their partner, how their partner left them and then came back, only to leave them again, etc. etc. But despite the horrible stories they tell, you can’t help but feel like they’re the mean ones, not these whores sleeping with their partners, a sentiment expressed by a few of the commenters, like the ex-husband of an alleged mistress, who wrote in to defend her:
None of you minus one or two knows Marian, or are privy to the absolute details of this situation, however it is quite obvious that many of the posters are just looking to be apart of the “mob”. This site along with others like it exploits our natural inclination to conform to a ‘mob mentality’ This site along with others like it exploits our natural inclination to conform to a ‘mob mentality’ Its easy for a large group of people who perhaps share a common interest, in this case infidelity or friends or family who fell victim to infidelity, to gang together and bash a “symbol” of what they perceive to be the problem. In this case, everyone has painted Marian as a poster girl of cheaters and feels as if its their duty to scold and bash her into the ground, and actually feel as if they are doing a service to society and feel better doing so. Who is the victim in all this?
On She’s a Homewrecker, men don’t entirely escape the wrath of the women posting, but they certainly are less of the focus. There have been plenty of characters spilled over the slut shaming that happens on the internet, predominantly to women by the hands of men but She’s a Homewrecker is definitely in the girl-on-girl crime category. Unfortunately there’s not much of a lesson here, save that if the internet teaches us anything, it’s that there are plenty of us that are awful in the world, regardless of gender. The only trend is that no matter who is doling it out, it’s usually women who are at the receiving end of the harassment.