Saturday is Valentine’s Day. Yes, the only day of the year that I make a conscious effort not to wear something red, a colour that happens to be my favourite.
I was only 19 when I first and last celebrated Valentine’s Day. A very hot boyfriend he was, and I wore red to demonstrate my effort. He had a single red rose and gift-wrapped chocolate, just for me, which he presented when we met.
We went to a movie, shared a hotdog and a soda (aww…how cute). I had chicken and chips for lunch and that, for a true blue villager, was a treat from heaven. It was all going so well, until he bought me ice cream at Sno-Cream and I somehow managed to trickle a lot of it on my top. The horror!
I might have imagined the look, but I could have sworn he was a little disappointed in me. Let’s just say I never felt the same for him (most likely my clumsiness diverted my confidence southwards), and that was the end of my love for Valentine’s Day.
There is hardly anything new to add, or any new angle to view Valentine’s Day. It has all been said and written over and over again, so today, I am going to be drastic and write about a group we all love to hate.
Mpango wa kando, aka MWK. Tomorrow, many MWKs will be catching up on the latest movies because their borrowed men will be hovering around “bibi number one”.
I know, just like me, a lot of older people have zero interest on Valentine’s Day, but we are human; husbands will only be allowed to be away on any February 14 if they have a signed document from the pastor.
There is so much to do on Valentine’s Day around the house, like repairing that broken table and perhaps giving the house a fresh coat of paint.
So yes, MWK. Not my favorite group of people, rightly so, but I feel we place unfair blame for something they are only half responsible for.
When we get married, we swear before God and man to uphold all those virtues of marriage. Man and woman promise to love, respect, cherish blah blah blah.
So when the man strays, I fail to understand why the MWK is to blame. She did not make any promises, the man did. He is a fully developed human able to make decisions like which country to bomb and which one to ignore – surely he can make a decision on whether to cheat or not.
They really are human, the MWKs
This may be controversial, but has it ever occurred to those MWK bashers (actually, that includes me) that they (MWK) are human? Yes, they really are.
As hard as you might find this to believe, sometimes they are innocent. They are lied to, promised heaven and only get heaven for plan B when they realise that the man who got them a house, bought them a car, paid their school fees, treated them as a wife et al is not really a travelling salesman, but a husband of five years to another woman who lives in Kitengela while you live in Kabete.
Sometimes, the MWK is more shocked than the wife when the cookie crumbles.
Cheating is bad. It is a break of trust in a relationship and trust is as vital as drinking water in January.
Trust is the lifeline of a relationship. When a woman catches her man cheating, she goes on denial mode, understandably so; this is a man she had trusted with her feelings and her body, one she thought she knew inside out – surely that man she knew could not be responsible for breaking her heart? It has to be the fault of some outside force, in this case the MWK.
Some women are man enough (not necessarily a good thing) to have an MWK. How a man reacts to his woman when he catches her cheating is a story for another day because it is a whole different ball game.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all, even MWKs.