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Are short-haired women hard to handle?

Short-haired women blatantly defy society's norms

Short-haired women blatantly defy society’s norms

Having dispensed with the ethical sensibilities, may I sermon women who deliberately keep their hair short to class. Here is the umpteenth reminder: you frighten the remaining wits out of Adam.

Women who choose to be hairless are a handful lot. Mostly they are dyed in the G-string feminists, artists, sometimes activists. In many instances, the hairstyle can be a marker of sexual orientation. Those stereotypes are empirically certifiable. Women with short hair are viscerally combative tomboys who are sexist. They are the real antithesis of femininity. I am yet to find a woman with short hair who is quiet and composed.

I treat women with short hair with the same suspicion reserved for men with decidedly feminine hairstyles- and a long nail on the small finger.

It is hard finding a man in braids who is functionally sensible. Most of them are Nancy boys of questionable sexual orientation.

If you see a man in braids, you rightfully dismiss him. If you see a woman with short hair, you try-like a psychiatrist- to find out what the cerebral problem is, if it is not something about her health or a temporary cultural calling, then Houston, we have a problem.

A woman with short hair is rude to herself and doubly rude to the world. A while ago, I visited an embassy of a European country for my visa.

There were three counters, two served by middle-aged white ladies, who were very kind and helpful.

In the third, there was a black woman, who harassed everyone left, right and centre. One classy lady asked when exiting: “Is this woman paid to be rude?”

Trust me, she was the snooty type with that wealthy but tired look. If she called her rude, then she was. Bespectacled rude girl sported the ‘Jordan’ hairstyle!

Beyond this singular encounter, all my interactions with shorthaired women have been as explosive as pressure stoves. I am not allowed to share my personal quirks with shorthaired types here, but trust me, I can write a book about on ‘Why clever Adam avoids shorthaired Eve.’ Hair is a statement of gender and we use it to express different emotions, sentiments and statements. There are those who try too hard to be different. Women who shave all their hair end up being creepy. And Nairobi lately has women teeming with bald heads. Just look around. Is it a new style? I swear given the two sinister evils, the weave or short hair, most men would rather a weave.  Short hair is overt rebellion to societal explanations.

While it is within their right, what they should know, they scarcely can charge men, sexually speaking. I know life should not be looked from sexual prisms alone, but living in Nairobi has taught me otherwise.  Studies have consistently shown that men prefer long hair for women.

To paraphrase one professor at the University of Pecs in Hungary, “longer hair has a significant positive effect on the ratings of a woman’s attractiveness; shorter styles don’t. Longer hair points to good genes.” I can’t agree more.  Go for short hair if it makes your world rock.

But men will always favour long hair. If you don’t live for men, well, I guess your poor dog or cat will turn a blind eye.

Disclaimer:  The ranting in this piece excludes women who keep their hair short for inevitable reasons varying from health to cultural and institutional obligations that sometimes require women to keep their hair short.

-The Nairobian

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