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The Shocking ‘Casual Sex’ Trend in Kenya

romp-regretsIn the second stance of his hit track Sitaki Kukuona, Kenyan rapper Rabbit makes nonsense of love and relationships alluding that he would rather go for casual sex than date a girl.?“We in mrembo sana na staki niku-hurt,?Lakini sina time ya love, labda tuplakane.?Ile chapaa ninayo saa hii hata hainitoshi,?Nikikuongeza kwa budget?ntapunguza noti?Nikupeleke out, njumu za kisos

Nikuachie za mfuko, nguo zile posh?Taxi za usiku, ile good life of course?Tuseme tu ukweli relationship haiwezi…?Nilikuwa na mpango usiingie box yangu?We uli-blunder ati ulinipenda tangu?Hatuwezi kula mapenzi, rent kila mwezi?Ati I love you, I love you kaa si…” he raps.

In a nutshell, Rabbit brings out the sensitive issue of youngsters and sex at an age when many Pulsers are not so keen about having permanent love partners, but rather friends with whom they can share their sexual argues with, casual.

He claims that his busy lifestyle allows him no time to nurture a love affair. He reasons that a girlfriend might end up cheating on him and leave him heartbroken. For this reason, he alludes,  one is left with no other option other than kuplakana (a colloquial street phrase for one-night-stand).

In fact, that sentimental art of romance associated with St Valentine — who was killed, in the name of love hence Valentine’s Day — has been turned into a one-night carnival of sex with teenagers even romping inside the club and other recreational venues without caring about tomorrow.

As it has been the case in the past, city clubs and streets as well as campus hostel centers must be littered with used condoms and condom packets even as young lasses rush to the chemistries to grab that “morning-after pill”. Others are in shock as they find themselves in the wrong bed with someone they would otherwise deem a complete stranger.

“I don’t understand how a young person in school or college can have just one partner. We may pretend to love someone yet we all know that we are cheating on each other. Sex has become casual and relationships are no longer taken seriously. This is a give-and-take game and everyone is in it for mutual benefits,” a local rapper states when we reach out for comment on the issue.

His current style has been pulling one-night-stands on his lady fans, something he says is no big challenge as the girls are easy-going and desperate for sex and would do anything to sleep with him. He adds that it is hard not to give in when the girls are more than available for casual sex — especially given that they are young and hot.

“I am neither married nor in a relationship, so I can have sex with any girl I want. After all, sex is as natural as eating and sleeping. Who can do without the two? Sex makes you feel good and happy. Someone said only humans and dolphins have sex for more than just reproductive purposes, but for the pleasure as well,” said a university student as he joined the debate on casual sex among the youth.

From gospel to secular artistes, the issue of casual sex continues to stalk our generation like a rampant shadow.

Every other week, celebrities are hopping from one partner to another with sex chains now forming complex webs that one would almost nearly conclude that everyone has slept with the other in this industry.

A leading celebrity who fell out with his girlfriend about a year ago confessed how he ‘chips fungas’ a new girl every time he goes out for concerts in and outside the capital city.

Two other male singers were caught in a fight after a girl, who had been sleeping with one of them, was caught pants down with the other inside the recording booth.

Broken-hearted and in tears, the young hit maker called Pulse to report the matter only for his friend to play down the matter.

“We just had sex. What is so crazy about that. She was willing and I was in need so it was a give-and-take. It is not that I am taking her away from him. I have no time for relationships,” the singer told Pulse in his cold remorseless, almost unbelieving, response.

Not so long ago, a gospel artiste hosted his fellow singer for an overnight stay. The two succumbed to the temptation of the moment.

The girl is now a mother. He is not there for her.

At the Strathmore University, a guy and a lady were recently expelled from school after they were caught in the school’s auditorium basement having sex.

And it is not unusual to hear of boys dumping their girlfriends on Valentine’s Day eve, simply because the pressure mounts up as sidekicks and other clandestine lovers make demands to have their share on that day’s significant love.

Young people are hooking up on the Internet through friend requests and social media platforms such as Facebook. It all starts with flirting through message exchanges then mobile phone number are exchanged before the strangers agree to meet — not to just have coffee and all the cliché ‘ol’-fashioned’ 1990s dating kind of talk, but party, have a good time and indulge in sex.

It literally takes minutes for Pulsers to hook up on social sites and get acquainted with each other and in another hour, they are plotting how to meet as they flirt online.

Lately, girls are even getting bolder than their male counterparts and ask upfront if a social Internet partner would be interested in sex upon meeting.

The whole thing spirals into casual text of rules — the ‘dos and don’ts’ — on online chats.

It gets worse when guys starts making up subjective rules for acceptable cheating in the so called ‘bro-code’. Part of this is now coined around a new rule being referred, by university students, as 80:20 in which a friend is excused to have 80 percent of whatever sexual advances they make.

Easy availability of cheap drugs, acceptance of alcohol as cool among school students, throwing of wild gigs and exposure to pornographic and other Western-type reckless party notions are a major catalyst to the growing phenomenal of youth and casual sex escapades.

From house parties, where Pulsers find it hard to resist peer pressure as they get introduced to ‘weed-laced’ cookies and cakes, to holiday day club outings where it all happens, teenagers are not short of options when it comes to creating conducive atmospheres for their ilicit sexcapades.

In fact, car parking lots, mall recreation joints and pump stations — which are the new chill-out points — are the joints where the first kiss in now happening.

Sex with multiple partners commonly referred as ‘threesomes’ are shockingly becoming fashionable in university hostels. Almost every other girl in campus has a female partner — leave alone that male sex mate — with whom she can indulge away from the usual suspicion and pain of hosting male lovers in the tiny campus cubes.

 

When asked, most of the university students interviewed said they engage in casual sex just for the thrill of it without thinking much about the consequences.

Others claimed that they do it to satisfy their ego.

“We go to the club and spot the best girls then bet with each other on who will take home the most beautiful one. If you sleep with her that night, then you are crowned a hero; the man with the game,” says John, a university student in Nairobi.

“It is bizarre to imagine that you can have all your needs met by one partner,” laments Joy, a University of Nairobi student.

“This in essence make campus girls fear making love commitments,” she adds.

Some of the university students interviewed admitted that even though she sometimes use condoms when indulging in sex, at times they have fallen to the temptation on going casual.

“What is so hard about using a condom when having sex? They are easily available. Why risk your life out of a mere five minutes pleasure,” wonders John.

-The Pulse Magazine Kenya

 

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